


The One Where Arthur Finds Morgana’s Vibrator and Makes Some Discoveries About Himself

by nomical



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Other, Porn With Plot, Pre-Slash, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-20
Updated: 2013-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-12 09:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/810133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomical/pseuds/nomical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That's it, that's the plot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Arthur Finds Morgana’s Vibrator and Makes Some Discoveries About Himself

**Author's Note:**

> Here's how this story came into being:  
> Me: Alright, time to write some more for paperlegends!  
> Merlin: Actually I'm going to fuck off for a while.  
> Arthur: While he's gone you should totally write about me using a vibrator on myself.  
> Me: Um, I think our time might be better spent if we-  
> Arthur: No, I'm definitely feeling the vibrator right now. Haha get it? Feeling the vibrator?  
> Me: ...Fuck it.
> 
> Major kudos to [ragless](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ragless/pseuds/ragless) for the read-through and being my sanitation advisor.
> 
> Disclaimer: This particular rendition of the Arthurian legend characters belongs to Shine and the BBC. Sadly I make zero profit off this.

As many things are, this whole situation was entirely Morgana’s fault.  If she hadn’t of had that shifty little kitten of hers, she wouldn’t have needed a cat sitter while she went to Milan for a week for some women in business ya-ya sisterhood convention.  And if it wasn’t for Morgana, Leon never would have quit his steady, stationary job as a regional manager for Dixon Retail and joined up as a performer on the renaissance faire circuit.  So now of course it fell to Arthur to take care of their fluffy hell-spawn for the week.

It wouldn’t have been so bad except for the fact that Mordred was an absolutely demented kitten.  His big unblinking eyes stared at you everywhere you went.  If you happened to leave the room, he would get up and follow you until you arrived at your new destination and then stared at you there instead.  And he never made any noise.  Normal cats, in Arthur’s miniscule experience with the animals, would meow at you when they wanted food or purred when you petted them.  Mordred just head-butted you when he was hungry.  He also had a tendency to run away whenever anyone tried to pet him, only to flirt back to just out of arms reach.  If he finally did let you pet him the whole experience only lasted about two minutes before he had enough and bit you before throwing himself under whatever piece of furniture you happened to be sitting on.  In summary, Mordred was just plain weird and Arthur tried not to spend any more than the bare minimum of time with him.

The offending fluff ball strolled into the kitchen where Arthur had just set his briefcase down and stared up at him expectantly.  Arthur rolled his eyes, gathered up the necessary items and walked into the bedroom, Mordred hot on his heels.  Mordred circled his legs, tail quivering in anticipation as Arthur doled out his food allowance for the day.  That was another weird thing about Mordred – he demanded that he be watched while he ate.  It completely threw off his routine of picking one cracker, chewing it, dropping it on the floor, and then eating it again off the floor if no one was in the room with him while all this was happening.  Arthur had learned that the hard way when he left Mordred on his own to eat and had woken up the next morning to an angry phone call from Morgana about how Mordred had thrown up on the couch in a ‘fit of nerves’ as she put it and how she expected Arthur to treat his nephew with more care in the future.  Arthur thought they were both insane and Merlin had sprayed beer out his nose when Arthur told him the story on their next pub night.

With the bane of his existence happily into his eating pattern, Arthur lay down on the bed to wait out the thirty or so minutes it usually took the kitten to eat.  He idly flicked through facebook and emails on his phone before sighing and chucking it over his shoulder.  His phone happily bounced once before falling off the edge of the bed and landing somewhere beneath it.  Arthur groaned and rolled over, groping blindly for it.  His hand came in contact with something large that was decidedly not his phone and he pulled it up onto the bed, curiosity getting the better of him.  He had an embarrassingly short debate with himself about whether or not to open it before deciding to hell with it.  After all, it was Morgana’s fault that he was stuck here taking care of the demon kitten with nothing to entertain himself with.  He popped the lid and looked inside before falling back on the bed laughing.

Inside was an impressively diverse array of sex toys – wands, dildos, vibrators, and what even looked like a strap-on device.  The whole situation became a lot less funny as that particular shoe dropped and Arthur suddenly discovered far more about his brother-in-law’s sex life than he ever cared to know.  Grimacing, Arthur dumped the contents out on the bed and quickly pushed the strap-on under one of the pillows.  Strap-on aside, the rest of the toys looked fairly interesting.  It wasn’t like he was completely vanilla when it came to sex.  He knew that some couples used toys as a normal part of their routine.  He’d just never come across a girl who had expressed a desire to use any.  Granted, most of his encounters were one-time events and even those who stayed for repeat performances didn’t last longer than six months but still, Arthur liked to think of himself as someone who knew a good amount about sex and what felt good.

He picked up one of the wands and his thoughts drifted to a conversation he and Merlin had several years ago.  It was during their second year together at uni when Merlin had come out to him.  Arthur, not knowing the protocols for this type of thing, did whatever his father did when he had cause for celebration – he bought a large bottle of scotch and proceeded to get them both pissed.  Somewhere around hour five of Merlin’s big gay confession the pair of them had ended up on the floor of their dorm room and Arthur was asking Merlin every question he never knew he wanted the answer to about being gay.

“So have you ever, you know,” Arthur giggled “done it before?”

“Really Arthur?  What are you five?” but Merlin was giggling too.  “But yeah, I’ve done the sex.  I mean done it.  I mean had sex yeah.”

“How did it feel?”

“Bloody fantastic.”

“Wait were you the batter or the other one?”

“You mean the pitcher or the catcher?”

“Tha’s the one.”

“I’ve done both but I think I like being the pitcher better.  Can we stop using baseball metaphors now?  I don’t even like that sport.”

“Wait!”  Arthur struggled into a sitting position, “You mean you’ve had a dick inside you?”

“Among other things, yeah.”

“There are other things?!”

“Well how do you think you get it to fit Arthur?  You don’t just lie back and think of England, you have to do preparation and stuff first.”

“With what?” Arthur’s eyes were practically bulging out of his head.

Merlin flushed and threw an arm over his eyes.  “Ugh, why are we having this conversation?”

“Because how else am I supposed to learn about this stuff?  It’s not like I’m going to be doing it myself.  Besides I bought you nice scotch and I’m hosting your big gay coming out party.”

“Some party,” Merlin muttered but when Arthur remained quiet Merlin peaked out from under his arm and sighed.  “Alright well you mostly start off with fingers and lube but sometimes you use different dildos and plugs if you want to get, um, stretched but don’t want to have sex right away.”

“So have you used a lot of toys then?”

“Em, a fair few I guess.  ’m not like, an expert or anything though.  Mostly just fingers and vibrators for me.”

“Vibrators?  Aren’t those for girls?”

Merlin flushed an impressive shade darker and locked his other arm over the first.  “Guys can use them too.”

“How.”

“You can use them like, inside you or just on the outside and on your dick.”

“It feels good to vibrate your dick?”

“Em, yes.  Ok moving on from this line of questioning now!”

“Right.  So after you have sex do you have control over your farts or is everything all loose down there?”

“Arthur!”

The conversation had continued spiraling into more cringe worthy topics and the night ended with Merlin chucking a pillow at Arthur and knocking over the lamp.  Arthur looked back down the wand.  In the years since their talk he hadn’t really given much thought to what Merlin had said.  Most of his hook-ups were satisfactory enough and if he whacked off nowadays it was more to relieve tension.  He rarely watched porn anymore and found it mostly boring, preferring a quick wank to stave off the horniness than to make a big production out of it.  But now he was alone.  Alone with thirty minutes to kill and enough sex toys to satisfy a 12 piece jazz band.  His cock twitched in anticipation.

With a quick look over his shoulder to make sure Satan’s playmate was still occupied, Arthur shucked his trousers and pants off and cleared a patch for himself on the bed.  He snagged one of the sanitary wipes and wiped the wand down carefully.  He vaguely remembered Merlin saying something about lube being important with toys so he picked the least intimidating bottle he saw and squirted a small amount into hand.  He coated himself and ran his hand up and down his length until he was semi-hard.  He then picked up the wand in his other hand and rubbed the excess lube on it as well.  Better safe than sorry.

It was then that he came to a standstill.  With the wand in one hand and his rapidly hardening cock in the other, Arthur blinked and decided _what the hell_ before pressing the wand to his cock and flicking the on switch.  The wand sprang to life at high power and sent a terrifyingly large wave of vibrations straight to the base of his cock.  Arthur gasped and turned the wand off, pulling it away from his now painfully hard cock.

_Alright.  That wasn’t bad.  A little sudden, but not bad._

Unbidden, his thoughts drifted to Merlin again and he wondered how his first time with a vibrator had went.  Why the hell was he thinking about Merlin during his pampering session?  Arthur shook his head and turned back to the situation at hand.  He turned the wand on again but held it away from his body, only flicking the switch up to the first level.  He took a deep breath and exhaled before slowly lowering the vibrating head to his waistline, just above the hair line.  The vibrations were much more gentle and pleasant than before and he could just feel them at the base of his cock.  He took his time directing the wand towards his cock, circling around the base and dragging it away again before repeating.  Arthur couldn’t remember the last time he’d really played with himself like this, teasing each new sensation out before pulling away again.

He continued this game for a while until the little swells of pleasure weren’t enough and he moved the wand up the underside of his shaft.  He moaned at the new feelings that elicited and began maneuvering it up and down his length.  He found a rhythm of running it down the underside and then back up the front and enjoyed it for a few minutes before he accidently nudged the head and nearly twitched off the bed.  He jerked the wand away and took a beat to recover before he gently placed the wand just beneath the head and raised it up slowly.

_Mmmm, ah, yes.  Now I understand what Merlin was on about._

He seriously needed to stop thinking about Merlin but the new sensations of the wand on the exposed head of his cock made it a little difficult to process exactly what he should be thinking about instead.  He found that even on the lowest setting it was too much to keep the wand on his head for long so he settled back into his old rhythm, occasionally bringing the wand higher and circling the head before dropping it back down the shaft.

Arthur could feel his arousal building but a few minutes later and it seemed to have plateaued.  It felt good, _god did it ever_ , but it wasn’t quite intense enough to bring him over the edge.  He turned up the power to the next setting and his breath hitched.  _That’s getting closer_.  He picked up the pace of his movements, circling his cock more quickly and applying more pressure at the base.  That stimulated a pulse from somewhere deep in his gut and Arthur opened his mouth and moaned.  He wasn’t normally noisy in bed but nothing about what he was currently doing was normal for him and if he was completely honest with himself it might have turned him on a little.  Girls moaning didn’t do much for him and he even found it a little distracting at times but he supposed getting aroused by his own sounds was a new low in narcissism that he must never tell Merlin about.  _Oh god, really though, why is Merlin Back again?_   His cock however didn’t seem to mind one bit, staying hard, droplets of pre-cum beading on the head.  In punishment for enjoying forbidden thoughts about his best friend, Arthur savagely directed the wand across his slit, groaning at the intense waves of pleasure.  _Not much of a punishment_ said a nasty little part of his brain which Arthur promptly ignored.  He moved the wand down towards his balls and circled them for a bit to cool off.  His body appeared to have other plans though as more pre-cum gathered and slid down the underside of his cock.

He caught most of it with his finger but a few beads made it past his balls and slid down the skin behind them towards his arse.  Arthur reached down to catch them, skimming his crack.  Although he wiped them up fairly easily, his fingers lingered on his crack, running the length of it and dipping inside.  Without thinking, he straightened one of his fingers and found his hole, pushing gently.  He met with a little resistance but he forced himself to relax and pushed with a little more force.  He got just up to his first knuckle when Merlin’s warnings about lube came back to him.  He extracted his finger gently, clamped the wand between his legs, and squeezed some more lube out onto his index finger.  He repositioned himself on his side, continued to move the wand around on his front, and once again slid his finger down his backside.

When he tried pushing in again he found it much easier to get back to the first knuckle but once there he met with resistance again.  He let his thoughts drift to pretty girls and porn stars while slowly thrusting his finger in and out, going deeper every time.

_Ok so we’re trying lots of new things today.  This isn’t half bad.  Actually, mmmm, yeah.  This…this works._

It wasn’t so much that he was hitting what his mortified sex-ed teacher would have called “that special spot” that girls had as he was enjoying the sensation of being full.  It was definitely doing interesting things to his cock and he could feel his orgasm building.  He carefully slid his finger out and rubbed it along the length of his middle finger before pushing both back in.  The muscles tightened but Arthur rubbed the wand hard along his length, distracting himself long enough to sink both fingers in fully.  His breathing sped up and he began to rock back and forth, timing his thrusts with his fingers and the wand at his front.  It was more intense feeling than anything Arthur had done before and he could feel his balls drawing up, preparing to come.  He just needed an image to bring himself over the edge.  Pictures of hot actresses with their legs spread open, heads tossed back in pleasure appeared but his orgasm stubbornly refused to come.  Frustrated, he thought back to his porn heyday but even the image of Melanie Rose with her cheekbones prominent as she sucked his cock couldn’t bring him off. 

_Cheekbones though, there’s a thought._

Despite his direct command and much to his horror, the image of a naked Merlin crouched between his thighs appeared.  Arthur tried hurriedly to think of someone else, _anyone else_ , that was most decidedly female when his brain kicked into overdrive and suddenly Merlin was the one with his fingers in Arthur’s arse, lips stretched tight around his cock, looking up at him through his eyelashes.

 _No, nope, what is this?  I don’t like_ Mer _lin.  Not like that.  He’s my best frien- but oh god that feels good._

“Don’t stop,” Arthur groaned to the empty room and started pumping his fingers faster.  Fantasy Merlin complied with his request and began swirling his tongue around the head of Arthur’s cock, keeping time with the vibrator.

_OH GOD._

Arthur came with several other expletives in an embarrassing slur of _ohfuckyeahMerlinjustlikethatfuckingchristfuck_.  He lay panting on his back, one hand still buried in his arse, the other clutching onto the vibrating wand.  He flicked the wand off and carefully extricated his fingers, wincing a little at the sudden empty sensation.  Belatedly, he released he probably should have taken the comforter off Morgana and Leon’s bed before this little experiment, but he was still coming down off the most intense orgasm of his life and a large part of his brain was arguing for leaving the comforter as was and taking a nap.  Eventually the practical side won out and Arthur eased himself up into a sitting position to survey the damage. 

Several of the toys had fallen off the bed at some unknown juncture and there were two different distinctly wet patches on the comforter.  He apparently hadn’t been all that careful with the bottle of lube as it was now lying on Leon’s pillow, draining into the feathers.  The image of Merlin still lingered where Arthur had pictured him between his legs and past that Mordred was looking at him with a supremely unimpressed look.

“Great, because that’s not at all creepy.”

Mordred twitched his tail and sauntered out of the bedroom, bowl licked clean but evidence of his bizarre eating habits scattered on the floor.  More mess to clean up.  Arthur gave the room one last look before deciding to shower first.  Shower, clean room, find phone, then call Merlin.  Because despite his misgivings on labeling this sudden sexual breakthrough, he had just had hands down the best orgasm of his life thinking of his best friend’s fingers up his arse and mouth around his cock.  His last thought before turning off the bedroom light was, _I wonder if Merlin still prefers to top._


End file.
